The cycle revised

When I try to see the good in the things that haven't gone as planned does it equate to some sort of artificial optimism?  Am I sifting my way through a huge pile of stinky shit for a diamond that might not even exist?  Is it me turning the pockets of my dirty jeans inside out until a twenty falls onto the floor?  I heard a Buddhist say that hope is just a vain attempt  to escape the moment that we currently occupy.  I tend to agree.  I can't say I have been around this block before, but I will say this....

I hold faith in the cycle of things and I try to do so without any expectations of when or what comes next.  If I hastily wish myself from the deepest gully of my own rut then every foothold I find will crumble and I will fall harder than before.  I know that things get bad and sometimes they get worse and then, maybe even worse yet.  I also know that things may get better and maybe great again.  They are getting better now.

I went back to work three weeks ago.  I love the job and the people.  It is part-time, it is temporary and it will carry me til I can make music again.  It will give me the means to pay down the spiritual and financial debt I've racked up in the last year.  More importantly, it is keeping me from wishing away time.